


Questions and Coffee

by CrimsonWriter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Gen, Humor, Natasha Is a Good Bro, No Plot/Plotless, Not a Morning Person Bucky Barnes, Sassy Bucky Barnes, They are all large children, Tony is amused, brOTP Steve & Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 03:04:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11027277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonWriter/pseuds/CrimsonWriter
Summary: A previously-normal morning takes a nose dive when Tony tries to ask a question.





	Questions and Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> ...I don't know what this is. It ambushed me. O.o Sorry.

"I have a question," Tony asked blithely, swirling his coffee cup around. He was addressing the two geriatrics sitting at his counter.

"Shoot. Preferably me."

Steve elbowed Bucky. Tony watched Steve's muscles flex like a normal person's and then watched Bucky barely budge, where Tony was pretty sure that he would have been bowled over by that elbow.

"Fine. Don't shoot me. Shoot him."

Steve elbowed him again.

Bucky sighed, long-suffering. " _Fine_. Don't shoot anyone. Actually, shoot the ugly vase in the corner. It's grating my nerves. I swear to _God_ , punk, if you—"

Steve elbowed him again, and the two super-soldiers—responsible, stern beings that they were supposed to be—dropped their respective drinks on the counter in favor of wrestling around on the floor like a couple of five-year-olds play fighting.

Tony watched, entertained immensely. Natasha walked in, saw the two super-soldiers rolling around on the floor, and perched in Bucky's former seat and stole his coffee.

"Hmm. Breakfast and a show," she remarked to Tony.

"And what a show it is," Tony agreed, leering absently.

She snorted.

Bucky got Steve in a headlock. "What was your question?"

"Why don't you ever run?" Tony asked. "You do sometimes, to get momentum for a jump, but other than that, _nada_."

Steve squirmed, getting leverage with his legs and backflipping so that Bucky was forced to let Steve go or get his face sat on. The wrestling commenced once more.

Tony and Natasha were both very amused.

"It's another weapon," Natasha answered Tony, in lieu of Bucky. "Walking into a fight tells people that you aren't going to need to use excessive momentum, because you're just that good. And with his build? It's kind of like watching a tank coming for you. Lizard brains set off all the alarms and make normal people a gibbering pile of bones."

Bucky ended up with Steve in another headlock, kneeling on each of Steve's calves.

"What have you been _eating_?" Steve asked breathlessly.

"Been drinkin' my milk, which you obviously haven't. You want to grow up big and strong, yeah?"

Tony cracked up laughing.

"Shut up, jerk," Steve panted, then leaned back further into Bucky's hold, grabbed Bucky's armpits from behind Bucky's broad shoulders, and heaved the Winter Soldier over his head like he was a heavier-than-usual sack of flour. Natasha somehow went from sitting on Bucky's stool to standing on the counter, out of the way of the flying bodies. She was still holding Bucky's coffee, and somehow hadn't spilled a drop.

"You scare me," Tony said to Natasha's calves.

"Thanks," she said, hopping off of the counter onto the safer side—where two soldiers _weren't_ wrestling.


End file.
